I am still unsure about what to committ myself to. Gee, isn't that shocking. You know what, maybe that is what I should commit myself to, making a choice and sticking to it. I can never seem to make up my mind. I always look at the pros and cons and not that it is a bad thing, but I think it sometimes makes me paralyzed because of overthinking things.
Why is it that I am great at looking at others problems and helping them figure out what to do and yet I can't do the same for myself? It is completely frustrating.
I can admit my shortcomings with the best of them, but it is the changing part that keeps me stagnent. I am afraid of change. I like the comfort of knowing what will happen and change means having to deal with the unknown. I left myself get defined by everyone and everything else in my life, yet I am to paralyzed within my own mind to define myself for me.
I can see the person I believe a truly am in my head so clearly, yet I am not her. WHY!!! Is she really the person I am or the person I want to be; and even if she is the person I want to be, is that a bad thing? She is still me, I just don't know how to pull her out.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
More randon thoughts...
Posted by Mel501 at 9:53 AM
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6 comments:
Change scares the crap outta me. Especially change when it comes to something serious in my life like my JOB. THAT'S the problem I'm having right nwo. Ugh.
I'm 36 and still have yet to figure out who i truely want to be. I always watch other people and think... wow, i'd like to be like that.
I'm hoping with more age will come more comfort in my own inner skin, the outer skin i already am comfy in.
But change ... *shudder* ... HATE IT!
Change scares me too. And yes, I can tell you my long list of shortcomings, but actually doing something to change them is the hard part!
he he he, changes scare you. Think about when you write this compared to what is going on in your life now!
Hay!
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Your posts are interest. Please, contining with writing.
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Bounced upon ur blog while surfing.
True, sometimes we expect a lot out of ourselves that leads to nuthing but frustration but for me change is good - it keeps me going...
Keep writing :)
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